"Congratulations for surviving sixth period," he tells me somewhat somberly. "The last sub had many more issues to deal with, including people having shouting matches and cussing each other out and stuff."
I nod and tell him thank you. In truth, the entire day had gone fairly smoothly, save for a mixup over which lunch I was supposed to go to. This left a class unattended for about ten minutes until someone found me as I tried to figure out where I was supposed to even get lunch - but one of the principles had taken control of things. I learned a lot just from watching her for a few minutes. She even scared ME. I digress. Allow me to "Tarentino" this story and start from the beginning.
First period. I arrived on time but found most of my half an hour before class occupied with figuring out where the heck I was supposed to go. I finally located my first classroom with ten minutes to spare, and walked into a room full of fish tanks and hydroponic gardens. The fish tanks have some pretty plain looking fish I have seen before, but some of them are rather large. The set up is much like a chemistry lab with long rectangular tables fastened to the floor. Each table has a fish tank. The hydroponic gardens seem to compliment some of the fish tanks, but one is an impressive brightly lit chamber growing tall tomato plants.
It is unlike anything I ever had in high school, and I find myself wanting to examine and learn the details of the hydroponic gardens - a subject I became something of an expert with in my own high school days. There is not time. The students have come, and I am their "Aquatic Science Substitute".
Aquatic Science students are not necessarily honor or AP students, but they seem to have chosen an elective they found actually interesting. Of the three periods I preside over this subject, they all do their work quietly. My only issue is a student who felt it acceptable to eat a bag of Cheet-ohs in class. He put them away when I told him to. It was just as my friends suggested. I was a babysitter. Though I could have probably lectured at length about hydroponics, they were assigned to watch a power point presentation and video on their personal laptops on tidal movements and their importance to marine life.
And therein lay a challenge I am not sure many of my teacher friends or family ever face. The laptops, called "Blackboards" were something issued by the school to the students, apparently for a fee. Not every student had one, but those who did shared with others to complete the assignment in Aquatic Science. The issue with these laptops was (although certain websites like youtube were blocked) they could get on the net and basically goof off if I did not play close attention.
This tendency to play on laptops was especially a problem in the dynamic battle zone that was regular Physics class - my other assignment. (I was subbing for two different teachers over the seven periods). The students seemed to take me for an idiot at first, at least when it came to the laptops. They were good about keeping their phones put away for the most part (mostly because Klein Forest had somehow blocked cell phone connections in the classrooms), but I was constantly forced to police the laptops and make sure the kids were using it for their assignment or something useful to their learning.
The laptop caused the only confrontation I had the entire day. One bulky male student refused to stop looking at shoes, of all things, and return to the Physics lesson he was supposed to be working on. I even suggested he apply one of the questions to shoes instead of tire treads, then show me his work. He didn't simply refuse, but he also gave me lip and felt it wise to order me to leave him alone.
"I'm going to give you one more chance to correct your attitude and do what you're supposed to be doing," I told him. "Then you and I are going to have a problem. Are we going to have a problem?"
He ignored me. Unwise.
I called the office to send someone to collect him. He was lucky I simply followed procedure, rather than release my inner drill sergeant completely. They sent a coach who had come to make sure I was surviving earlier. As he left, I turned my back on the thugish child, and he did swear at me. I was glad to see most of his classmates did not approve of the disturbance. There were one or two who tried to sneak cell phone games. Here I was perhaps too lenient. I could have confiscated these phones, but I let it slide a little as long as they heeded my instruction to put the phone away. The third time I made one student do this, he simply got up and left the classroom.
We were briefed that in high school, if a student does this we are no longer responsible for them. I just make a note of it and they are now truant. I was glad not to have to chase him down, but without fail I had at least one person every class wanting to use the restroom and take the hall pass. It was another way to test the rules I would not have considered until my first day.
The real key to keeping control of a rowdy physics class was the opposite of what even my teacher friends advised. Show no mercy they said. Release your inner "pisshead" another said. While in some cases I had to do this, it was my knowledge and ability to teach a little physics that kept the class calm. My ability to answer their questions and help them with problems kept them working on the assignment, rather than simply giving up and looking for ways to goof off. The students themselves did not expect me to be able to help them. Once I realized this, I told them up front each class of my capability. In this area, I believe I succeeded where other subs failed.
I even found myself mimicking my own high school physics teacher as I walked back and forth throwing my keys up and down to demonstrate principles of potential and kinetic energy.
"Power is Watt?" I declared.
They didn't get it. I had to explain I wasn't simply asking a question. Thanks for showing me how to be a good physics teacher Mr. Funkhouser. I should think I made you proud.
I am proud of all my teacher friends. I know something of what you deal with every day now, and though I knew it was not easy job it was still quite an experience to see it firsthand. I'm sure its impossible to match every substitute to a subject they know something about, but I think its a darn good idea to encourage substitutes the think of themselves as teachers too, and not just babysitters. Its amazing how well we all behave as humans when we are more interested in learning than what trouble we can cause.
Students fill the huge halls of Klein Forest High School
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